Elevator Pitch 3
Above is the link to the third version of my elevator pitch.
This time, I had classmates who commented on my post so it really helped me
make changes that would improve my pitch this time around. When I read my
fellow classmate’s comments on my blog I was pleasantly surprised. Most of the
comments about my pitch were positive! The first comment spoke about the length
of my speech and my hook. My classmate said that he really enjoyed my hook and
that it grabbed a lot of attention. He also said that my speech should be a bit
shorter because I may lose the attention of the audience. The second comment
also spoke highly of my pitch but said that my tone may be too serious. In
light of these comments, I kept my pitch mostly the same, keeping the hook, but
I did shorten it a bit. In regards to the tone, I believe that my product tries
to solve a serious problem so I stayed with the serious tone.
Hi, I watched your pitch last time and I see some improvements in this one which I think is great! I think the hook was very captivating and I think you explained your product very well. Your confidence was key and understanding what you had to say was clear. I agree you may have been to serious before but on a product that relates to gun violence I think the level of seriousness was perfect. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHey,
ReplyDeleteThis pitch was really well written. You started off with a great hook and were able to keep the audience's attention. Also, I thought your tone was perfect considering this is a serious topic and the length was good. My only suggestion would be to not rush so much in the beginning. Besides that I thought it was great!