Elevator Pitch 2
This is my second elevator pitch.
Although I did not receive any comments on my last elevator pitch directly, I showed it to my father, who is in business, and he suggested that I start with a story or an anecdote of some kind. I also read online that I should choose a story that is relatable. I chose to start with the relatively shocking intro story because it seems like a possible situation that would scare parents. The story seemed very relatable to me and it depicts a normal day taking a turn for the worse. The only thing I changed was that I started with a relatable story rather than introducing myself right away. I also did not wear a jacket this time because when I watched everyone else's elevator pitch they seemed dressed much more casually than I was. These were the things I changed for my pitch and I believe they made my pitch better and more convincing.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the story you used as your hook. I agree that the use a relatable and personable story can be very effective in gaining the attention of the audience. in your pitch your ideas were clear and you did not rush which I think was very solid. you used great tone in conveying your ideas and it was easy to stay engaged. I know this was supposed to be 90 seconds long so in the future I would try and be more concise but overall really great job.
Hello!
ReplyDeleteThis pitch is engaging from beginning to end! I really enjoyed your story, however, some people may be drawn away if they are too fearful. I think your serious, yet concerned, tone is adequate for the type of product you are offering. I enjoyed your pitch and hope that in the future, your product (or one similar) will enter the market!